“You’re going to be fine”
This seems to be the motto I’ve been telling myself every day for the past month and a half. (Yes, for me the holidays and festivities start the week of Thanksgiving) As much as I love the Christmas season and spending time with my wonderful family and friends, I can’t help but constantly think of the food that awaits for me.
Now I totally understand the importance of food and eating moderately, but as a girl who unfortunately, often falls back into her ED habits, food can be the enemy sometimes. Going out with friends for dinner and drinks is so much fun but in the back of mind as much as I hate to admit it, that voice is still whispering “Do you really think you should eat that? Did you burn off enough calories at the gym today to consume all of that?”
Moments like these, what do I do? Back when I had my eating disorder, I would of course stop eating and immediately start giving excuses on why I’m not eating. During the beginning stages of my recovery, anxiety would flood my mind and I would have a full on panic attack trying to fight the ED thoughts before trying to pick up the fork to eat again. This holiday season, surprisingly, has been a lot better. I still get anxiety but it is a lot easier to tell myself to not to be afraid of food. To know that I’ll be ok if I eat that yummy slice of pumpkin pie. I’ll be fine if I eat the cheesy lasagna square. I’ll be fine if I go out and celebrate with drinks and dinner with my friends.
So with Christmas arriving tomorrow, ED thoughts are bound to pop up. What am I going to do? Focus on something else. Now I’m not saying to ignore those thought because from personal experience, ignoring them will eventually explode into another anxiety attack. So go ahead and acknowledge it, but don’t let it stop you from enjoying the holiday festivities. Focus on the time spent with family. Focus on the laughter and joy that Christmas brings. Focus on the beauty that Jesus Christ is born and the love that comes with it. Most importantly, I’m going to focus and appreciate that this is another year that I’m an ED survivor and nothing is going to take that away from me.
Love yourself this holiday season. Share that love with someone you know that might need it. Christmas is all about joy and love and that all starts with you and loving your body ❤️
What’s one thing you love about yourself?
What’s something you are looking forward to this Christmas?